Let go and move on
It’s been a year since I moved from Brazil and started my life here in Switzerland. Many people told me that I was very brave to across the sea and start over from scratch, but the reality is that I did it out of fear, fear of not following my inner voice that was screaming. I’ve always wanted to live abroad and embrace a journey on the unknown. Going out of our comfort zone and discovering a new culture are, for me, powerful tools for self-knowledge and personal growth. I will not say that it is easy to leave everything that you know behind and jump into the void, but it is precisely that jump that opens up an universe of possibilities. However, to be able to move forward, it is necessary to let some things go. Many people have difficulty letting go dear objects, clothes, people and memories, me included. However, last year, when I realized that there was nothing stopping me from making this change, I decided that it was time to make this move, as I could no longer ignore my inner voice that was screaming on top of her lungs.
From the moment I made my decision to come to Switzerland until the date of my trip, I only had four months. I had to be disciplined and efficient in order to do everything necessary before the moving date. I sold what I could, donated what no longer fit in my life and lent some furniture to a friend that I couldn't sell or that I might need in the future. Since this decision was quite “abrupt”, without a long-term planning, I thought it was prudent to maintain a safety net in case I needed to return to Brazil. But even so, I believe I got rid of more than half of the things that I had. As I’ve started letting go, I felt a tremendous release, I felt free. I realized how many things I kept for emotional reasons. Clothes that I hadn't worn in years, objects that I kept because they had an emotional value, but that only occupied a space at the back of my closet.
After clearing all this space in my life, I realized that I am a person who doesn't need much. It is possible to have a simple and compact wardrobe. Today, I also have fewer objects and if something new is going to enter my life, I see what I don't need and what I can get rid of to make some space. With this experience I felt lighter. I also feel that I am better prepared for any surprise that life throws at me. I am ready to follow my instincts, to follow a natural flow of a life on the go. Starting over is never easy, but it is an opportunity to reinvent yourself, to get to know and rediscover yourself.
When I got here without my belongings, without my home, my family or friends, I discovered silence and solitude, which is different from loneliness. When I got here it was the beginning of autumn, and I saw in the falling leaves, a little bit of myself and what I was going through and everything I was leaving behind. I got rid of my old foliage, and I was letting go of everything. Then I went through my inner winter. In that stillness, I went through an internal reflection process, got in touch with my deepest feelings. It was a wonderful opportunity to listen to myself. something I could never do living in São Paulo, one of the largest cities in the world. In my former life I was always running between a fast paced work, an intense social life and a demanding relationship. So I never had time to listen to myself or to understand what I wanted or needed. And I see now that my personal winter was essential to reconnect with myself and to get to know this new me.
Then spring came and with it the promise of the new and a rebirth. I also felt this blooming inside of me. Each day I felt more beautiful, self-confident, stronger and more exuberant. Summer then was the culmination of this new life and with it’s arrival, abundance came; new friends, new home, I finally was, a new woman.
My detachment was a reconnection with myself, it allowed me to understand who I really am, and to discover what moves me. I was no longer tied to social codes so ingrained within me, or stuck to my past and the stories of my life that I told myself. When we find ourselves in this situation where we are able to take a step back and look at our lives, it’s when we can gain a new perspective and really see what we are made of, we let go of the things that we imagine about ourselves. I was able to review concepts and judgments I had about myself, and get rid of some masks that I had carried for a long time.
What I understood in this process is that nothing is permanent, neither the good nor the bad. And understanding that no matter what hurts us can also be left behind is extremely liberating. Today, my compact life, where I have few belongings, allows me to be free and I think that is what I have always wanted. I feel more and more authentic and able to respect my inner callings. I am free to live in the stream, without strings attached and this is a gift that I gave myself. Today I feel that life can send me as many curved balls as she wants, I am ready to catch them, and if I need to leave and keep on going, I say "LET'S GO!".
This text is part of a series of contents written by the creative and blog contributor Stephanie Stierli. As a storyteller, Stephanie is passionate about studying human behavior, this experience on earth, and creativity. As a "multipotentiality", she’s a filmmaker, a therapist and an artist. As her personal point of view, and how she’s wired, life shouldn’t be limited to a single passion or path. Her curiosity guides her to explore multiple areas. As a critical thinker, her goal is to provoke change and help people to escape the norm and explore new realities. Graduated in Social Communications, with a specialization in Filmmaking, Stephanie has work experience in feature films, series, and advertisement. As a floral therapist, she helps people with their personal self-discovery and living a more balanced life. Nevertheless, art is the way she found to express herself and explore all her potential.
And like a river with meanders, this line in between - which I call discipline - may tend more to one or the other side in a few days, but it always keeps me focused and with an eye on my goals. It connects the land I’m standing on, to the ocean of possibilities that I want to reach. Self-discipline is what gives me the daily flow to do things and then feel like doing it more and more. It’s a growing and permanent moving flow - and cycle.
Sometimes we need to lose ourselves a bit to then find ourselves again. And I'm happy to be back. Truly and entirely.
We all know this is something we shouldn't do, it was already explained to us, more than once, but there's no way out: comparing ourselves to others is almost impossible to avoid, especially when talking about creative and artistic work. Sharing is caring, so I've decided to do a small list of some habits that are helping me to deal with this matter.